Joke of the day!!

[Far_Call]

I think we need a Joke of the day section
Maybe someone different could post a Joke each day just for a laugh?
Here's one that Scootapig sent me that I quite like.

A little blonde girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to
her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count.
Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 !

"That's good,innit?"
"Yes darling, very good."
"Is that because I'm blonde?"
"Yes darling, it's because you're blonde."
Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today
at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as
D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K !
"That's good, innit?"
"Yes darling, very good."
"Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?"
"Yes darling it's because you're blonde."
Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went
swimming, and well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!"
She proceeds to flash her impressive 36D at her mum.
"Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?"
"No darling, it's because you're 25 years old."

BUT KEEP THEM Clean please!!!

[Scooterpig]

Got plenty more too..

[Far_Call]

Scoota !
Your turn tomorrow OK?
Share it aound boys, But Keep it a little clean please

[Scooterpig]

An old country farmer with serious financial problems bought a cow from
another old farmer for $100, who agreed to deliver the cow the next day.

However, the next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry, but I've got some
bad news: the cow died'.

'Then give me my money back.'

'Can't do that. Already spent it.'

'Alright. Just unload the cow."

'What ya gonna do with a dead cow?'

'I'm going to raffle him off.'

"You can't raffle off a dead cow!"

"Yes I can. I just won't tell anyone he's dead.'

"A month later the two old farmers met up and one old farmer said to the
other old farmer, 'What happened to the dead cow in the end?'

'I raffled him off just like I said I would. Sold 500 tickets at $2 each
and made a profit of $998.'

'Didn't anyone complain?'

'Just the bloke who won. So I gave him his $2 back.' "

[Far_Call]

Looking for a Volunteer for tomorrow
Any takers

[Scooterpig]

Ok...my turn again..

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the
veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in its ears and cleaned
both ears and the dog could hear fine.
The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from re-occurring
she should go to the chemist and get some "Nair" hair remove and rub in its ears once a month.
The lady goes to the chemist and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At
the register the chemist tells her "If you're going to use this under
your arms don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady says "I'm not using it under my arms."
The chemist says "If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a
couple of days.
The lady says "I'm not using it on my legs either and if you must
know I'm using it on my schnauzer."
The chemist says "Then stay off your bicycle for a week."

[Far_Call]

No takers today????????

Doctor Bob had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice, within himself, trying to reassure him:
"Bob, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And besides, you're single. Let it go."
But invariably another voice would bring him back to reality:

"Bob, you're a vet."

[HUNTER]

If you ever have a position vacant for a secretary
and you have a blonde, a redhead and brunette
apply for the the position, which one do you pick??

The one with the biggest tits......of course. 8O :wink:

[Scooterpig]

The priest of a small Irish village was very fond of the ten chickens plus
one cock rooster he kept in a hen house behind the parish manse.

One Saturday night, the cock rooster was missing, and as that was the time the priest suspected cock fights occurred in the village, he decided to
say something about it at church the next morning.

At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anyone got a cock?"

All the men stood up.

"No, no," he said. "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"

All the women stood up.

"No, no," he said. "That wasn't what I meant, either. Has anyone seen a
cock that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up.

"No, no," he said. "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody
here seen my cock?"

All the choir boys stood up.

[wobbly]

I don't usually pass on sad news like this, but
sometimes we need to pause and remember what life is all about.


There was a Great loss recently. Larry LaPrise, who wrote the song
"Hokey Pokey," died this week at age 83. It was extremely
difficult for the family to keep him in the casket.

They'd put his left leg in and .....well, you know
the rest.